Kiwi Kids Books

Earlier today the world was rocked when  John Key announced that he is effectively shooting blanks. Yes our commander and leader has been under the knife and had a vasectomy. John Key has had the big ‘V’. This rather personal news came out of a press conference earlier today when the subject of early childhood education was raised.

I have never blogged on vasectomies before so tonight I am moving into uncharted territory, but boy am I excited about the topic range.

Firstly, lets deal with the appropriateness of the statement made by Mr Key. I don’t think I will ever be able to look at John Key again without a large number of thoughts rushing through my head. In today’s age is it right for a national leader to announce to the world such personal details? I don’t think so. Sure we live in the information age and information like this is probably out there for all to find but I prefer a little discretion from our leaders. I thought Rodney Hide appearing on Dancing with the Stars was bad enough but that seems tame compared to this latest news. I couldn’t imagine the Queen coming forth and spilling such intimate information to the public, so Mr Key should take a similar line.

Perhaps though it is the public who are to blame for this situation. Maybe our politicians are scared of anything in the closet and this was a nice little way for John to cover his backside so to speak. Only a few weeks ago all MP’s had to declare any gifts that they had received over the last year. Don’t bother. I have checked the fine print and there was no vasectomy given to John Key in 2010. Unless of course he received it at the cut ( sorry about the pun) price of $499. Hopefully this doesn’t bring about a rash of sudden announcements from MP’s scared of anything hidden in their past life. The mind boggles with what announcements could come forward.

Secondly, the fact that he is shooting anything is the real concern for me. This man is charged with running the country and making sure that this great country runs smoothly for you and I. Now I don’t pay my taxes to have him romancing the night away with his wife. John should be working 25hours a day to run this country and anything with his wife should be done once he has left office. In my view this is a small price to pay for the role of Prime Minister of New Zealand and the reason why I haven’t run for office yet. I love my wife too much.

Thirdly, this will definitely have repercussions for John Key’s. Firstly, spare a thought for John at around 8pm when John arrives home. You can bet your bottom dollar when he arrives home tonight he is in trouble and the reception will be as icy as his post operation bath. Politically I can’t work out if it will be good or bad. Without doubt he will lose the Catholic vote, but may gain a few left wing swinging liberals. I am sure this latest news will also resonate with the white middle class of this country. If they see that there leader is willing to make a few personal cut backs during the recession that may win a few percentage points at the next election. Personally, I cant wait for few side remarks that will come from the debating chamber in the next few months. Already Phil Goff has got to work and penned this little ditty

There once was a man called Key

who went for a vasectomy

the whole world he did tell

hoping the story would sell,

instead we all laughed at his stupidity

So where does this leave us a country. Well lets be honest. When you woke this morning you probably didn’t expect to hear this kind of news. You may have thought the All Blacks would be debated, the All Whites discussed, but never in your wildest dreams did you think we  would be talking about the Prime Ministers privates.

Sadly this story will only grow. No doubt it won’t take long for idiots to add picture after picture of our leader. I will start.

It wont be long before John Key is using his name to sell items like these.