Kiwi Kids Books

Daddy Day Care / Minus Mum - call it what you like!!!!

Today was the first of four days I have effectively termed ‘Daddy Day-care’. Other terms that I could have used are ‘Flying Solo’, ‘Minus Mum’ or even ‘Father Fun Day’. Fathers reading this blog will be familiar with these terms referring to times when the mother goes away for some reason and the children are looked after by their father. I am in that zone and for the next 96 hours Ozy Mandias is a single dad flying solo as Mrs Mandias has decided to leave our family holiday due to work commitments.                  

I have been vice captain of this team for some time now but this is the first time that I have been given the role of captain since the birth of our children. Before we analyse this with too much depth I think it is important to note how long this captaincy is for. A total of four days is not a just a token gesture. Baby sitting for 3 hours is a token gesture that some men are given from their wives. Ask any man and they will tell you that four days represents a sign that I am coming of age as a father. My wife has tested me with smaller, 30 minute slots over the last few years, and I have passed with flying colours. I have shown my ability to wash, feed and nappy change our children and my wife now considers me ready for the next step. This next step is the week away and is the last test in me completing my fatherhood license. 

Passing the fatherhood test is no easy task, especially with Mrs Mandias as our previous captain. Most people won’t realise the role that Mrs Mandias plays in our family. She is the captain, coach, physio, cook, finance advisor, and everything else within the Mandias family. Her role is so far-reaching that members of our family have started calling her Daniel Vettori, in reference to her single-handed running of this family and crafty off break she bowls during our family backyard cricket games. 

So you can see that to take over the captaincy will not be an easy job for me. I will have to step up in every area and raise my game to a level that I have not attained before. So how did things go today you may ask. 

First up we had church in the morning. This turned into a nightmare when our younger boy deciding then rather us paper to draw a picture on he would use his face as a canvas. His mouth, therefore, became the ink well. 

Next we went to the Arts Centre for lunch. This was great until the older boy decided to run everywhere yelling swear words at the top of his voice. He then used the KEEP OFF THE GRASS SIGN as a balancing object and finally he decided to use two sticks to attach every seagull in the area. Much to the horror of onlookers and the poor bird he caught on the left wing. 

Our afternoon activities went well until the younger boy decided to try his hand at climbing every item in the house. In the process checked the density of our coffee table with his head. Needless to say that it is a little harder than his head. 

Dinner, bath and bed time proved to be a difficult proposition and as captain I will be changing a few things tomorrow. Firstly, at dinner time when the first piece of food is thrown I will not retaliate and step in earlier. Today I left it until three pieces of broccoli had been thrown until launching a counter attack of my own. 

Bath time was actually completed well but this was as expected as this is my domain every night. 

The final aspect was bed time. Even with two parents working like Clydesdale horses this is a difficult job. Tonight with only one pilot it felt like I was piloting a 747 as well as being the air hostess and air traffic controller. I started by reading Hairy Mac Cleary and saying our prayers and this went well I thought all boxes had been ticked. I then turned off the lights and went through into the lounge for a well earned break. Ten minutes later I heard giggling from the room and upon entering both boys had swapped beds and where practising their 2012 gymnastic routines. I yelled and screamed and this seemed to do the trick until ten minutes later I returned to the room and found both of the boys in the same bed singing songs. I yelled at them some more and as of 7:56pm I have not heard from them again. 

Sadly, as I reflect on my first day I would have to say that at the very least I have only passed with a ‘C’. Thankfully, under NCEA every person passes and I have another 3 days to get it right.