Kiwi Kids Books

40th birthdays are interesting affairs. They are different to normal social functions like 21^st and weddings where most participants want to be there. Instead 40th’s are a massive reminder that the years are starting to beat you, your body is waning and your mind is more forgetful. Therefore, the 40^th birthday is one of life’s difficult ages to celebrate. You don’t feel old but the reality is that as you look in the mirror there is sure signs of wear and tear.

I was fortunate enough to go to a 40^th birthday last night. I say fortunate because, apart from the waitresses, I was the youngest person in the room. A sprightly youth set amongst an aging crowd. It was also my first official 40^th where I was an invited friend. This is important because it now means my friends have bolted past the 21^st stage, negotiated the wedding stage and the 40^th birthday is the next milestone we all celebrate together. Thankfully my 40th is a number of years off, 9 years in fact.

Overall the party was a success. Held at the couple’s home there was a nice mixture of patrons and a platter of food delivered every few minutes. However, there are two aspects of the evening I would like your opinion on.

Firstly, do you have a shower outside? The reason I ask this is that they had a shower outside, beside their hot-tub. Now this was no simple Saturday afternoon tap shower.  This was an exclusive Italian design, complete with sliding mixer, a seat and the nozzle on the end of a long chain which means you can move the spray around your body parts without even moving. Pure luxury.

Now at the beach I see the relevance of a shower to rinse off the sand before going inside. But these people live 10km from the closest beach. Why the need for outdoor shower then? Curious I asked a number of party goers but none could provide me with a satisfactory answer. Then last night as I lay in bed it struck me. The only real answer is that our newly turned 40 year old couple are closet naturists. Some people like clothing around their body, whereas these people prefer to go 100% natural. They like nothing better than to do the ‘Adam and Eve’ whenever they get home, in the weekend or during the holidays. This would confirm a suspicion I have held for a long time but have not been able to verify. The man in question always likes to communicate via text and is always warning me to call before you drop around. Added to that I have noticed he has an exceptional all-over tan and a rather high, all enclosed front fence. Individually these things wouldn’t usually add up to being ‘one with nature’ but together they form a pretty conclusive case.

The second issue I would like to raise is that of Party Games. On the way to the party I was asked by my wife “Will there be any game there tonight.”

As the party was for a work colleague I knew he wasn’t into touchy group games. Well so I thought. It turns out, and this is a common theme with naturalists, that he loves nothing better than grouping complete strangers together and having them perform strange tasks. Fortunately, it was just a general knowledge quiz which meant I was a sought after commodity due to my vast range of general knowledge. Suddenly, those who had been commenting negatively about my shirt where closest to my side, begging for me to be in their team.  For some reason when I do general knowledge quizzes I win. I am not bragging, just stating the facts. Last night was the same.

Sadly though this was an ill thought through quiz and I am still miffed about one of the answers in my speciality areas, sport. One of the questions was

Name the athletic event, apart from the decathlon, that men do but women don’t?

Being an expert in Olympic history this was and easy one and  I put forward the answer of 110m Hurdles. I was gobsmacked that the official answer was the 50km walk, which I would also acknowledge as correct. I said nothing about this obvious wrong answer but I noticed a few people like me shaking their heads in bewilderment. If you are going to do a quiz, get the questions and answer right.

So as I have said the party was a success but personally I went home under a cloud. Once in bed I couldn’t sleep as my mind checked off all the reasons why a family would have an Italian shower in their back lawn and if women competed in the 110m hurdles. Happily at 3am when I had worked out my friend was a naturist I got up and searched the Olympic website and found that women only compete in the 100m hurdles. From then I a slept soundly.