Today has been coming for a long time and despite knowing it was approaching I am still bitterly disappointed. Gutted. Anoyed and a little depressed. That is because I am resigned to the fact that firstly I am getting old and secondly the younger generation is now far superior than me.
First up I have noticed over the last couple of weeks an increased amount of body hair in certain strategic places around my body. In response to this my body has started to balance this process by thinning hair in other places. I noticed this last night as I SKYPED a mate in Aussie. I had the niffty video system working and couldn’t belive the image of me that buzzed around the screen. Since earlier that morning my forehead had grown to Homer Simpson proportions and it dominated my 17 inch screen. My hair is basically a receeding tide of whisps and bumfluff. I tried as best as I could to invent a quick comb-over, but nothing seemed to work. In desparation I turned off the video system.
Sadly while I am losing hair in some areas I am gaining it in clumps in other areas, most notably my nose and ears. My nose, in contrast to my forehead, is a vortex sucking anything remebling a hair into it. A good friend of mine warned me of this process as you age, but like a ‘young buck’ I didn’t think it would apply to me. I thought no matter what I would be ammuned to this evolutionary process. This arrogance has cost me big time as I now spend more time grooming my nose and ear hair then I spend in the shower. I have more tools in my daily arsenal than a women’s hair salon in my daily war against my hair problem. Trimmers in all shapes and sizes combs of different strengths and colours and lotions of who knows whast all help me in my daily battle.
While deep down I realised this would happen to my body I have not been prepared for the shame and embarassment that I have had to endure over the last couple of days. Twice in two days I have been soundly beaten by the younger generation. The reality is that the younger generation is now superior to me in most areas of life. First up in my humiliation I was soundly beaten in a short triathlon I took part in over the weekend. Now I am a fair sport and don’t mind losing every so often, however, I was beaten by students I teach at my school. They are 11 and 12 years old. I have run through a few reasons for this and there are a few excuses I could bring forward, but what would be the point. I was beaten soundly. As you can imagine this week has not been pleasant at my school. I have noticed the sly sniggers and laughs as I wander across the quad. I am aware of the talking behind my back. Beaten in a triathlon by your 12 year old students is not a way to develop your reputation within New Zealand’s schooling system.
The reality that I have had to face is that perhaps my skills are not as good as I believe they are. While I have only been a triathlete for a year it seems I had over estimated myself. This was reinforced today when I logged onto the Stuff Webpage and found out they had selected the 10 bloggers for their ‘BLOG IDOL’ competition. Like my triathlon this was an event I entered eagerly with the thought that perhaps I may have a chance to do well in. Sadly, my 2 and a half years of blogging seems to have as useful and productive as farting into the wind. The contest asked contestants to write a 150 word blog entry. For someone with such a large vocabulary as me this was always going to be restrictive. I liken it to asking Dan Carter to play rugby for 5 minutes and judging him on that. Unfair. So I agonised over my piece of writing and even had someone proof read my work in an attempt to put my best foot forward. Sadly as I read what others have penned my best is woefully short. These writers are good. Witty, concise and funny. Sadly, I am a long way off their ability.
But as I reflect, and adjust another stray nose hair, I will try and look at the positives. As far as I can assume these 10 bloggers are just new bucks in the blogging game. They are writers and if they fail to win will have no reason to continue on with their blog. For them they are guided by fame and fortune, something I realised very quickly after starting this site I would not achieve. But I am guided by intrinsice blogging motivation. Take this post for example. I would bet that I only have 3 people who may get to reading this sentence ( by the way if you do leave a post to let me know). Therfore, I have spent the last 36 minutes writing something no one will read and fewer people will feel the need to comment on. Some people think this is a waste of time and they are probably the same people who think doing triathlons are a waste of time. For me I find enjoyment in both.
So I will continue with my blogging as well as my triathlon. It means that unlike many of the ‘BLOG IDOL’ contestants in 3 weeks time I will still be a blogger. With respect to my triathlon I will have to pick events my students wont be entering or do more training. My only other option is to take up gardening and I am not ready for that.
Con Vie
Welcome back to another Con Vie installment. For those unfamiliar with my posts each week I leave a question as a starter for conversation between readers. Destiny Church has been in the news this week more than the PM so this week I draw my question from Bishop Brian.
Is Destiny Church a church, an arm of the BTPF (Brian Tamkai Pension Fund), a political/social organisation or a cult?
In breaking news Tauranga MP Simon Bridges is contemplating using famed social media networking gadget - TWITTER to reach out to more punters. The announcement on his Facebook page earlier today came as a surprise to most people in his electorate. But to close followers of Bridges, including me – Ozy Mandias, this is no surprise. He has shown himself as an up and coming MP and someone who is not afraid to utilise the latest gadgets to his advantage.
On the plus side, Twitter is the obvious next step for Bridges. Considering he was named the 2nd sexist New Zealand MP last month, beaten only by token winner John Key, this is surely a logical progression. Furthermore all the great names in society have embraced Twitter including Obama, Britany Spears and even Homer Simpson so if it good enough for them then it is good enough for Bridges.
My only concern is that this move could alienate Bridges from his electorate. It is a well known fact that Tauranga is the home of the grey rinse, gold card and soggy carrots. Most of these people believe ’Twitter’ is the term used to describe our last MP and don’t even own a computer. Added to this is the Telecom XT network that Bridges is most probably on being as reliable as an ashtray on a motorbike, moving to TWITTER could be a problem. Ultimately however, we all know that for Bridges to makes this new idea a success he has to provide something special to his readers. I suggest the following
- Live ‘Twittering from the Chamber’ and important meetings. Give us updates, personal opinions and gossip from the halls of power.
-Live Twittering about things we are interested in. Things like – Guess what tie Mallard is wearing today? are much better than updates on changes to the Miners Unification Act 1892.
So all in all I am in favour of Bridges as he embarks on this new journey. I wish him the best and will be the first to sign up. In return I expect to be at the top of his best friends list. My user name is Ozymandiaswarn.
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Welcome back to another Con Vie installment. For those unfamiliar with my posts each week I leave a question as a starter for conversation between readers. This weeks question;
What would be your favourite job?
